deus ex macchiato

Fabian Bazant-Hegemark's blog



At times, I find myself utterly unable to write on Hymnos. I usually aim to write a certain quota per day, and it feels great to see the progress, at least quantitatively, in this way.

I learned to deal with not feeling like writing, and even though I sometimes fail, I usually always find the calm to sit down and write, especially in the early morning. It takes a bit of discipline to get up early, especially when my bread-and-margarine-job doesn't require me to show up before 10 am or sometimes 4 pm, but if I don't get at least a bit done before going to my shift, I feel like I waste my hours.

Still, sometimes when I want to continue with a certain chapter or narration in my novel, I find that I am too distracted to put down more than a couple of sentences. It might be trouble at work, with relationships, with political developments, any kind of things that affect me and my concentration.

How I deal with this is that I take some time to write down what bothers me. Obviously not all of the ideas that push on my door can or should find their room in a project that should incorporate a certain tone, and who's characters have certain world views and ideals – it wouldn't make sense.

So if I notice, and usually that is after a sentence or two, that I feel the urge to procrastinate, to check news sites or web shops for deals on outdoor equipment or Facebook or else, I pause. And if the feeling doesn't go away by noticing it being there, which oftentimes helps, I will open a new document – just like this, as you might have gathered – and write about what is occupying me. Most of these I don't even save or finish. They are just psychological hygiene. Some I transform into blog posts. Others just lie dormant in the depths of my computer's folders.

Important for me is that, when I set out to write, have my dedicated time of the day where I do so, that I don't let anything come between that. And if, by chance or fuckedupness, thoughts obstruct me from creating what I want to create, I still want to create something.

My advice for writers would be this: even if you have a schedule, sometimes things don't work the way you want. And by things, I mean you. Don't worry. It might be time to take a walk, it might be time for a break. But it might also be time to write something else entirely, just to get it off your chest.

// picture is Django and me while hiking in Lower Austria. Walks, by the way, and especially hikes, work wonder in resetting the fuckup your brain created. So do dogs. :3